Amongst divorce professionals, January is notoriously dubbed the “Divorce Month”. Although many can argue whether or not the month is actually bad for marriages, there are some factors that contribute to making this time of year more susceptible to the contemplation of leaving one’s marriage behind.
With new beginnings, there will be endings. One of my favorite quotes by Seneca, the Roman philosopher, so eloquently captures this notion, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end”. For many, January is the month of setting new goals, attitudes, and behaviors. Ending a previous beginning to starting a new one.
Part of this self-reflective, new year process can be exemplified in the creation of New Year’s Resolutions. Doing away with the old to make room for the new is a common theme. Leaving an unhappy, unrewarding marriage for the prospects of renewed happiness, peace, and love is certainly included.
Does this mean everyone is getting divorced in January? Of course not. For many, they are just beginning the process to find out what is involved and what will be required if separation or divorce is the choice. This may mean reaching out to an attorney to learn more about the legal process or speaking with a therapist as to priorities for one’s mental health. And for those that may have already done some research or perhaps were referred by a friend, reaching out to a Certified Divorce Coach should be one of the very first steps you should take. A Divorce Coach will be able to walk you through both the business side of the divorce process as well as the emotional management of the process to ensure that your decisions are reflective of your needs and wants, so you can create a suitable action plan that is best for minimizing conflict and putting the needs of your children and family in the forefront.
If your goal or resolution for 2022 is to rebuild or reclaim your personal happiness, choosing your mindset is a great place to start. Many of the barriers standing in front of you may very well be related to your outlook. And, when it comes to ending a marriage or relationship, much of that negativity is grounded in fear. It is important to remember that divorce is a process, not an identity. You do not need to become your divorce nor should you be defined by it. In this new beginning, outlook is essential.
Another important step in this process is to remind yourself that there are many things that you cannot control. However, there is one thing we do know for sure. You have the ability to be in control of yourself. YOU can control your actions and behavior. By taking action, you no longer need to be a victim of circumstance and your own negative thinking.
If the New Year is the catalyst you have been looking for to start that new beginning, make sure you have the appropriate information and support, such as The Split Society, to take the next steps to make your happiness a reality.